Power, Control, & Domestic Violence

Power and control play a primary role in an abusive relationship. As far back as studies go around domestic abuse, power and control have played a factor. Tactics such as isolation from family and friends, name-calling, monitoring all movements, and withholding information can be used by a partner to gain control over the other. Often abuse starts with small acts of control and slowly overtime becomes bigger. Abuse often doesn’t begin as physical; emotional, verbal, financial, and psychological abuse are used to gain control and power. Physical violence often comes after the abusive partner has gained power over the other.

In the past two months, we all have had a small taste of what it feels like to have control taken away from us. We have been asked to stay home, to avoid being in public, and to social distance from loved ones. It has been hard for many, and will likely have lasting psychological effects on us as a population. For victims of abuse, the feeling of uncertainty, fear, and anxiety are their daily lives. With the addition of COVID-19, victims have been required to stay home with their abusers. The lack of outlets such as running errands, going to work, or connecting with support networks has made these past few months extremely hard for victims.

Individuals are isolated in their homes with their abusers who may have the capacity to monitor their every move. Monitoring can be physically knowing where and what you are doing but can also be telling you what can and can’t watch on TV, having access to your Facebook, phone, internet, and other digital devices as well. The rise of unemployment has likely thrown families into more desperate situations, which increases the potential for conflict to escalate. Individuals are also having a harder time finding the privacy and time to reach out to local domestic violence programs for support.

“One service that we strive to provide to every individual seeking our support is to create a safety plan. A safety plan is a unique plan with make with each individual on how they can keep themselves and children safe and avoid situations that may put them in danger,”
—Tracy Plamann, Harbor House’s Community Education Coordinator.

Wisconsin has seen 37 lives lost due to domestic violence homicide in 2020. In Outagamie County we have seen 3 deaths already this year. If that pattern continues, 107 lives will be lost this year, in Wisconsin, compared to 77 lives in 2019. That’s one person killed every 3.4 days. The city of Milwaukee has seen a 500% increase in domestic violence homicide in 2020 than a year ago.

“It feels like we’re dealing with two pandemics [COVID-19 and domestic violence] at the same time,” said Reggie Moore with Milwaukee’s Office of Violence Prevention. “We’re seeing a lot of inner family conflict, which, the ‘Safer at Home’ order, could be a contributing factor.“

As we are coming to the end of May, our state has begun lifting some restrictions with COVID-19. While this is concerning for some, for victims of domestic abuse, this may mean life or death. At Harbor House, we are ready for an increase in calls, walk-ins, and those seeking shelter in the coming months.

“We are here, and will always be here with our arms wide open to support and serve survivors, and our community,”
—Wendy Gehl.

Now is the time for each of us to show love, empathy, and kindness to one another. We are stronger together. Reach out to loved ones, report any activity that you think is unsafe, and lead with love and compassion towards everyone.

Harbor House is here and will remain here to serve our community. We are here for survivors, their loved ones, neighbors, community partners, and our community as a whole. Please reach out to us, we are here 24/7 at 920.832.1667 to answer your call.