Accountability Is Part of Ending Domestic Violence

When we talk about ending domestic violence, the conversation often begins with supporting survivors; and for good reason. Survivors deserve safety, respect, resources, and the freedom to make decisions about their own lives without fear.

But creating a community free from domestic violence requires more than supporting those who have been harmed. It also means addressing the behaviors that cause harm.

Accountability is part of ending domestic violence.

At Harbor House, our Domestic Violence Intervention Program (DVIP) is built around this belief. The program works to hold individuals who use abusive behaviors accountable while prioritizing the safety and empowerment of those affected. It is one part of a coordinated, community-wide response to domestic violence.

Supporting Survivors and Creating Accountability Go Hand in Hand

Survivors should never be responsible for changing someone else’s abusive behavior.

They should not have to find the “right” way to communicate, avoid certain topics, walk on eggshells, or change their own behavior in an attempt to prevent abuse. The responsibility for abusive behavior belongs to the person choosing to use it.

That is why survivor support and intervention must happen together.

Survivors need access to advocacy, safety planning, shelter, counseling, education, and other resources. At the same time, people who use abusive behaviors need opportunities (and expectations) to recognize those behaviors, understand their impact, take responsibility for their choices, and develop healthier ways of interacting with others.

These are not competing approaches. They are complementary pieces of the same work.

Accountability Means More Than Saying “I’m Sorry”

Accountability isn’t simply accepting punishment or apologizing after an incident.

True accountability requires looking honestly at patterns of behavior and the beliefs that contribute to them. It means understanding how power and control can be used in relationships and recognizing that words and actions have consequences.

Harbor House’s Intervention Education Programming focuses on power and control, abuse, values and beliefs, accountability for words and actions, and the development of healthy skills and strategies.

Change begins with recognizing that abuse is a choice AND that healthier choices can be learned.

Intervention Is About Education and Change

DVIP provides assessments for individuals of all genders. These assessments look at the whole individual, including risk, strengths, challenges, support systems, and other needs that may affect their ability to make meaningful changes.

The program can receive referrals from courts, probation, child protection, family court, mental health professionals, advocates, family members, and others. It also accepts self-referrals.

This approach recognizes that accountability and education can work together. People who use abusive behaviors need to understand not only what they did, but also the beliefs, choices, and patterns behind those behaviors; and what it takes to change them.

We All Have a Role to Play

Ending domestic violence is not simply the responsibility of survivors, advocates, or law enforcement.

It is a community responsibility.

We can challenge attitudes that excuse abusive behavior. We can teach young people what healthy relationships look like. We can believe survivors when they seek help. We can refuse to minimize controlling or threatening behavior. And we can expect people who use abuse to take responsibility for their actions.

Most importantly, we can recognize that supporting survivors and holding people accountable are not two separate missions. They are both essential to building safer relationships and a safer community.

At Harbor House, we believe ending domestic violence requires all of us.

Together, we can work toward a community where domestic violence is not accepted, excused, or ignored; and where everyone has the opportunity to experience relationships built on safety, respect, and equality.

Need Support?

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, Harbor House offers confidential, inclusive support and services tailored to each person’s needs and comfort level. The Harbor House Crisis Helpline is available at (920) 832-1666.

If you are concerned about your own behavior or want to learn more about Harbor House’s Domestic Violence Intervention Program, assessments can be scheduled by calling (920) 955-9151.